Working On Becoming Better Rather Than Bitter

Going from a full functioning, independent woman, to an individual with such limitations, it is really hard not to compare myself with others. I see in those other people, a reflection of what I once was.  I  miss the idea of going to work, contributing to our household.  Even, if I never go back to work, I think I will always miss it.  It was an opportunity to be self-sufficient.  Not that my husband couldn’t take care of our family, but the idea that I was holding my own and had a career that I had worked so hard to get.

I miss the perceived independence that those other people have. They get to go and do what they want, when they want. Me?  I am at the liberty of my body and what it will allow.  How quickly I will tire? How far is the drive?  How many breaks will I need to assure I don’t cause extra pain?

Those are my main two hang ups when it comes to my chronic pain.  I think it is normal for someone to start to look at life before pain and then the life one would have when dealing with the pain.  I think until one accepts that the pain is going to be present day in and day out, the comparison of the life before and after will take place.  I am still working through that acceptance process, some days are better than others.  I am working on becoming better rather than bitter. ❤compete with yourself

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4 thoughts on “Working On Becoming Better Rather Than Bitter

  1. Exactly. Thank you for these words. I try to tell myself this every day: gratitude and joy. Not bitterness. It really is too easy to look at the terrible cards life has handed you and acquiesce to it. Keep up the good fight 🙂

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    1. Thank you! You as well! I know everyday is a struggle sometimes to keep a positive outlook, I try to keep the little moments that make me happy in the forefront of my mind. But it’s a daily battle.

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