Thriving Thursday.. Is this for real?

Finally some good news! 

Gosh It has been a crazy week I even forgot to post this yesterday!!  My kids are back in school, I’ve had a few doctor things going on…MAN I AM READY FOR THIS WEEKEND!  I’m exhausted!

So Tired

However, I got the best news today that I have received in a long time!  My fusion is healed!  I have bone growth!  Those are words I though I would never hear from my surgeon!  After 3 fusions on the same 2 segments, I finally have bone growth.  The only thing that may cause issues down the road is my earlier bone infection.  There is a very small chance that the infection could be lying dormant and rear its ugly head later on… this could cause the new bone to break down.  But, hey, I have bone growth now and that makes me so happy!  As a BONUS, I was approved for my spinal cord stimulator (SCS) yesterday!  This is also great news because even though I have bone growth, I still have SCS Imagehorrible pain that limits everything I do in my day-to-day life (the doctor calls it chronic neuropathic pain).  So, here’s to still having hope that I may be able to get back some of the things I have lost due to my chronic pain, with the help of this SCS.  Even if I can get up and move around a few hours a day, around the house and not have the nagging, aching pain, I will be one happy woman!

It is almost one of those things where I’m worried that this is just all too good to be true.  My history is that I go in for a procedure that is supposed to help me feel better, which in turn causes more pain, then something goes wrong.  I either don’t heal right, blood clots, infection…. what will it be this time? Is this too good to be true?  So, later this month I will be heading into surgery yet again, my 6th back surgery, to have this Medtronic neurostimulator implanted.  I am happy, scared, nervous, anxious, overall FREAKING out!

How do you handle the emotional roller coaster that is chronic pain?

I’m going to try to document my experience with this surgery.  I can’t promise that it will be pretty, but I know the journals of others that I have read, that have met the same pain and torment that I have, really have given me hope.  So, by doing this, just maybe, I will be able to help someone in return.

Never.Lose.Hope.

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