The day is drawing near…

The day is drawing near and it seems as if nothing on my to-do list is getting done!   My mind is so here and there, completely scatter brained!  I try to start this or that on my list of to-dos, then my body says nope… all your stress and anxiety has taken all the possible energy out of you …. there is nothing left.  Ultimately nothing is getting done that I want too! I am just stressing out over this procedure.  You would think after one has had so many surgeries that I would be used to the process.  Nope.  Not me.

My anxiety has been through the roof.  The inability to think straight is out of the question.  I have all these thoughts rolling around in my head that I can’t seem to keep them all straight.  And even when I am talking, I lose my thoughts so quickly… just POOF… GONE.  I can be mid-sentence and another thought will jump into my head.  I then completely loose the thought I was talking about.  It is so frustrating!  I was talking to my husband the other night and I was confused on the day of the week.  It was Monday and I was thinking it was Tuesday. So, after he so patiently explained to me that I was a day off… I proceeded to tell him that our son had a certain something going on the next day, Wednesday.  Again, he kindly reminded me that the next day was TUESDAY.  Oh, the patience that he has with me I am so ever thankful for!  It is those little things that just get under my skin, because it is something that I should be able to remember.  It’s simply just the day of the week.  Then, to be reminded twice within five minutes that I am off on my days, is crazy.  I am a control freak by nature so for me to be “losing it” is difficult to grasp.  It seems as if these moments are more frequent when I’m stressed out.  And this surgery is really stressing me out!

So back on track, I had it all planned out, I was going to do just a little at a time, each day leading up to the procedure allowing for my inability to do a lot at one time.  However, each morning I see the kids off to school and then I am physically done.  I’m exhausted. So, I go and lay down in bed and try and read. Nope. How about coloring? Nope. My eyes aren’t focusing. They are too tired.  How about a simple game on my phone?  Nope. The only thing that it seems that my brain is interested in doing is thinking about this upcoming procedure and what needs to be done before I go in…

SO these, next few days I needs to reign in my thoughts and work on trying to stay focused on the here and now and take things more moment to moment and not day-to-day as that is just too much for me to handle right now.  Also, to let go of the things that may not get done.

How do you manage anxiety when it creeps in and doesn’t want to let go?
How do you manage to stay in the moment and now over whelmed with the big picture?

Never.Lose.Hope.

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