The daily battle…

In the daily battle with chronic pain, the idea of being able to do the things I used to are always in the for front of my head.  There are triggers for me that make me wish I could go back before my back and body pains.

  • Seeing or driving around downtown
  • Driving by new housing developments.

The feeling if only I could try to go back to my past life. If only I could fix my body.

I had worked in real estate for 13 years, then was redirected into IT work before my final blow that lead me to be medically retired. There were many possibilities.  There was hope for a “better” future for me and my family. The idea of what my life could have been, what I should have been.

How do I even allow myself to think about being able to go back to work?  *REALITY CHECK*  Just typing this, I was sitting up and had to go and finish typing this laying down, because of my back. It’s just that I feel I have been sitting dormant for too long.  I get this feeling of being capable of doing so much more. But, what? There is only so many computer games, word finds, sudoku books, and adult coloring books one can do before I am bored out of my mind.

How do you challenge yourself when you are always tired and in pain?