Pushing my limits

There are days that I say SCREW IT.

Long story short,  I pay for it.

For those that suffer with chronic pain, there are things that we have to still do in order to keep our sanity.  And sometimes that means leaving the house and going on a long walk, at the state fair.  That’s exactly what I did this last weekend.  I was asking for punishment, I know!  I know my bodies limits. But, I went to the state fair anyways. We, my family and I, walked and walked a lot!  I didn’t do anything stupid like rides, or any crazy games (I left that to my son), I just walked.  I took all the precautions, muscle relaxers, pain meds and frequent breaks. But, I knew while doing it, that the outcome would be a rough few days after.

Here I am, 2 days after, and I am still recovering and will be for at least a few more days.  Yesterday, consisted of more meds, heating pads, a lot of sleeping, and limited shuffling around the house.  Today, I for see the same.  Laying low and taking care of my aching, painful body.

 But it was worth it. It was SO worth it. 

The mental break of being out of the house, among other people, laughing, smiling, and enjoying myself, makes the pain of the recovery worth it.

So, my motto while recovering will be…




There are days…

There are days when I just don’t know what to do. The pain wears me down to where there seems to be nothing left.  I try to push on and through it and it doesn’t do me any good.

These bad days are here to stay.  However, thankfully, everyday isn’t a “bad” day.

Writing in this format and sharing my thoughts, it seems to me that I should add a solution or a resolution to the issue that I am writing about. Isn’t that what some blogs do?  Provide solutions? Give answers? Give useful tips?   However for me there isn’t a cure all. I don’t have any useful tips today. I have no answers.

I am just here to say that chronic pain sucks.  I am stuck with this. That is my reality.  It is a reality for many of you.

If you suffer from chronic pain, and you are reading this, know that you are not alone.  I know what’s behind that smile, behind that “I’m okay”. I know and I understand.

There are days…

Keep swimming

The daily battle…

In the daily battle with chronic pain, the idea of being able to do the things I used to are always in the for front of my head.  There are triggers for me that make me wish I could go back before my back and body pains.

  • Seeing or driving around downtown
  • Driving by new housing developments.

The feeling if only I could try to go back to my past life. If only I could fix my body.

I had worked in real estate for 13 years, then was redirected into IT work before my final blow that lead me to be medically retired. There were many possibilities.  There was hope for a “better” future for me and my family. The idea of what my life could have been, what I should have been.

How do I even allow myself to think about being able to go back to work?  *REALITY CHECK*  Just typing this, I was sitting up and had to go and finish typing this laying down, because of my back. It’s just that I feel I have been sitting dormant for too long.  I get this feeling of being capable of doing so much more. But, what? There is only so many computer games, word finds, sudoku books, and adult coloring books one can do before I am bored out of my mind.

How do you challenge yourself when you are always tired and in pain?